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ems182

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ems182

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  • Number of visits : 57
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ems182's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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ems182's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80029) - you deserved it (8257)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

#20537344
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (5018)

On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

#20537344
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (5018)

On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (4102)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, I had the contraceptive implant removed from my arm after having had it in for three years. I was one of the unlucky people whose body sticks to it. It took half an hour to cut and pull a tiny little stick out of my arm. FML

#19954412
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17675) - you deserved it (2276)

On 07/18/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Darlington)

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML

#13697546
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35639) - you deserved it (7758)

On 11/03/2010 at 2:40am - intimacy - by spockswifey - United States

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36713) - you deserved it (9486)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35224) - you deserved it (2010)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53505) - you deserved it (3158)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML



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