empy

Search for a member

empy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 April 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4557
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

empy's page activity

Visits<b>C_Wicked27</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 3:11pm<b>assman266</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 12:28am

empy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

empy's favorite FMLs

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

by dundundadumb / 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

by emily / 07/30/2009 at 4:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

by good_job_john / 07/20/2009 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, while backpacking in Switzerland I had my camera stolen. Not only does this have photos of my entire trip but the pictures I took for my best friend's wedding. I was the only photographer of her elopement. FML

by pissedinSwiss / 07/17/2009 at 11:01am / Switzerland (Bern) / Holidays

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

by shway / 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2009 at 12:20am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

by campmom / 07/08/2009 at 1:02am / Kids

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2009 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2009 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2009 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2009 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

by shit... / 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

by DaveAlmighty / 07/02/2009 at 3:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

by OfCourse / 06/27/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous