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emokillermonster

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emokillermonster
  • Town/Country : Manchester, United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 October 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 16
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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emokillermonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52156) - you deserved it (6576)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40780) - you deserved it (10404)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29922) - you deserved it (6866)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16907) - you deserved it (2140)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99965) - you deserved it (7236)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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