Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emobitch616

Search for a member

emobitch616
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 October 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 639
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

emobitch616's last visitors

mokshaUnicornFarts

emobitch616's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of emobitch616's badges

emobitch616's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32976) - you deserved it (8786)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32558) - you deserved it (3891)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

#15049456
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45543) - you deserved it (6587)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Justme (woman) - United States

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

#15030689
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (10220)

On 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by afafakfhsg (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

#14853922
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (2380)

On 02/05/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by stinkerweeder (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

#14841865
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32689) - you deserved it (3442)

On 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm - misc - by smbcolorado - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (2485)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28198) - you deserved it (6217)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

#14553118
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11265) - you deserved it (25290)

On 01/12/2011 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (2917)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

#14385124
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18026) - you deserved it (4942)

On 12/29/2010 at 6:32pm - misc - by snowball (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38590) - you deserved it (8374)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML

#14184991
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (1755)

On 12/12/2010 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26067) - you deserved it (7204)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: