Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emobitch616

Offline (the 01/31/2015 at 5:32am) | Search for a member

emobitch616

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 October 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2311
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

emobitch616's page activity

Visits<b>woodmaster</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:55pm<b>UnicornFarts</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 8:34am

emobitch616's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of emobitch616's badges

emobitch616's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (8819)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39319) - you deserved it (10618)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36338) - you deserved it (4228)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

#15049456
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50378) - you deserved it (7104)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Justme (woman) - United States

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

#15030689
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29982) - you deserved it (10885)

On 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by afafakfhsg (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

#14853922
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37359) - you deserved it (2587)

On 02/05/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by stinkerweeder (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

#14841865
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36538) - you deserved it (3795)

On 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm - misc - by smbcolorado - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

#14728347
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39210) - you deserved it (3441)

On 01/27/2011 at 2:17am - love - by dadum (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35586) - you deserved it (7826)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

#14553118
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14782) - you deserved it (34436)

On 01/12/2011 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31514) - you deserved it (3067)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

#14385124
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21488) - you deserved it (5349)

On 12/29/2010 at 6:32pm - misc - by snowball (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (8955)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML

#14184991
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22735) - you deserved it (1916)

On 12/12/2010 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous - New Zealand



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: