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Mobility
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Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (12001)
On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (1770)
On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States
Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (1636)
On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada
Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17442) - you deserved it (3147)
On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13064) - you deserved it (1775)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17736) - you deserved it (4046)
On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (1745)
On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13464) - you deserved it (1378)
On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20519) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62494) - you deserved it (6322)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12434) - you deserved it (1647)
On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (1467)
On 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm - animals - by AdamwithanA (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15450) - you deserved it (1287)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I completely shaved my head as a gesture for my boyfriend's mother, who was suffering from cancer and having a terrible time undergoing chemotherapy. Turns out she doesn't even have cancer, and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't have the guts to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25650) - you deserved it (3459)
On 10/10/2012 at 11:05am - misc - by horriblejoke (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15975) - you deserved it (1320)
On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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