About emilyraenewman : I'm Emily and I'm 17. I live in a small town on Vancouver island. Message me :)
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I agree, their lives suck
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emilyraenewman's favorite FMLs
by clumsy / 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML
by walkingdead_1029 / 05/06/2013 at 2:49am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm / United States / Love
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
by great idea / 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 12:18am / United States / Love
by hudd357mag / 02/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Love
- Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked… Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he… Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to…