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Today, I saw my boyfriend with his arm wrapped around another girl's waist at the mall. He saw me, panicked, and pretended to give the girl the Heimlich maneuver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14075) - you totally deserved it (1250)
On 03/18/2010 at 9:04pm - love - by amiugly (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was applying some acne ointment. The directions said, "Apply a thin layer, covering the entire affected area." In other words, for me: My entire face. Lovely. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9720) - you totally deserved it (1862)
On 03/11/2010 at 12:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12581) - you totally deserved it (2906)
On 03/01/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by theholt (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5496) - you totally deserved it (1422)
On 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by ryan and Zack - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20384) - you totally deserved it (950)
On 02/25/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by grossuncle (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you totally deserved it (943)
On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - misc - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3831) - you totally deserved it (33936)
On 02/08/2010 at 3:00am - love - by loveeyou. - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5377) - you totally deserved it (16481)
On 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by overexcited (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a blind date with a girl I met online. I lied to her that I was single, and she told me she is single too. I immediately knew she was lying when I saw her. Why? Because she is my girlfriend. We broke up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4465) - you totally deserved it (31633)
On 02/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Mhsaysdance (man) - Malaysia (Perak)
Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21538) - you totally deserved it (1998)
On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'i hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21522) - you totally deserved it (6541)
On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to: "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you totally deserved it (1195)
On 12/13/2009 at 7:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26080) - you totally deserved it (1289)
On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22459) - you totally deserved it (845)
On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31873) - you totally deserved it (3515)
On 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm - love - by John - United States
