Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emilyjgraham

Online | Search for a member

emilyjgraham

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5020
  • Number of comments : 755
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About emilyjgraham : I didn't realise I'd comment as often as I do otherwise I wouldn't have created such an obvious username... I'm just a bellend. If you want to talk to me please don't just say 'hi', say something interesting!! :)

emilyjgraham's page activity

Visits<b>lisaint</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:51am<b>lillirose10490</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 3:39am<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 2:31am<b>jackczap</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:26am<b>battlehamster</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:25pm<b>AstroWolf</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:13am<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:52am<b>kwgang</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:28pm<b>FlapDragon</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:58pm<b>Pesticides</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:02pm<b>VisheshSood</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:43pm<b>orbit</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:54pm<b>guelito97</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:45am<b>moksha</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:38am<b>staaacey</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:00pm<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:57pm<b>xR3cKl3sSx</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Fallout_2077</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:16pm

Liked!<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:47pm<b>chicken_noodle</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:29pm

emilyjgraham's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of emilyjgraham's badges

emilyjgraham's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

#20446658
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17039) - you deserved it (46325)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML

#20443271
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18607) - you deserved it (4609)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

#20438400
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (41185)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom

Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

#20438198
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40357) - you deserved it (6227)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (9374)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35950) - you deserved it (3716)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML

#20422819
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25752) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by marriedtoatool - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

#20419854
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36849) - you deserved it (2418)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48491) - you deserved it (10113)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48491) - you deserved it (10113)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19526) - you deserved it (26022)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39646) - you deserved it (4252)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (4654)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (4654)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: