About emilyjgraham : I didn't realise I'd comment as often as I do otherwise I wouldn't have created such an obvious username... I'm just a bellend.
If you want to talk to me please don't just say 'hi'. I'll just reply 'hi/hey'.. it's just a waste of time!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14180) - you deserved it (845)
On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe
Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20656) - you deserved it (3014)
On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States
Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13366) - you deserved it (2465)
On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19024) - you deserved it (1269)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (25197)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (25197)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11437) - you deserved it (21407)
On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23996) - you deserved it (1859)
On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (2505)
On 11/18/2012 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by lellow_171 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18585) - you deserved it (5840)
On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5161) - you deserved it (19227)
Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20646) - you deserved it (1489)
On 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Mmkay1515 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17709) - you deserved it (1545)
On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17709) - you deserved it (1545)
On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16932) - you deserved it (4248)
On 11/11/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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