Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emilyjgraham

Online | Search for a member

emilyjgraham

5Liked!

emilyjgrahamemilyjgraham
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5802
  • Number of comments : 758
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About emilyjgraham : I didn't realise I'd comment as often as I do otherwise I wouldn't have created such an obvious username... I'm just a bellend. If you want to talk to me please don't just say 'hi', say something interesting!! :)

emilyjgraham's page activity

Visits<b>sdlr32787</b> - yesterday at 4:08pm<b>fridaayy</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:47pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:02am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:31pm<b>jshakd642</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:47am<b>RA91</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:38am<b>Fou_Lou</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:09am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 9:00pm<b>orbit</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:39am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:56am<b>boostedc</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:20am<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:41pm<b>KingHavok</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:15pm<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:20pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:08am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:11am

Liked!<b>RA91</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:20pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:03pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:47pm<b>chicken_noodle</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:29pm

emilyjgraham's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of emilyjgraham's badges

emilyjgraham's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63375) - you deserved it (14431)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

#20690847
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22998) - you deserved it (43997)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54623) - you deserved it (3074)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (13500)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

#20686053
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50171) - you deserved it (4431)

On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40904) - you deserved it (6324)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44197) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43952) - you deserved it (25641)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40337) - you deserved it (19610)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47003) - you deserved it (3467)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41791) - you deserved it (11882)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59812) - you deserved it (6045)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51395) - you deserved it (8923)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77371) - you deserved it (5292)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38138) - you deserved it (3828)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: