About emilyjgraham : I didn't realise I'd comment as often as I do otherwise I wouldn't have created such an obvious username... I'm just a bellend.
If you want to talk to me please don't just say 'hi'. I'll just reply 'hi/hey'.. it's just a waste of time!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20237) - you deserved it (49323)
On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States
Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46733) - you deserved it (9263)
On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48525) - you deserved it (2863)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32954) - you deserved it (27198)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)
Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45146) - you deserved it (18502)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was told that I don't meet the minimum requirements for a job I applied for. I currently hold the same job, at the same facility, but just wanted a day shift. Apparently I'm not qualified for the job I've had for 2 and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you deserved it (2707)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47984) - you deserved it (5905)
On 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm - love - by Thanks Babe (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49321) - you deserved it (5946)
On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44285) - you deserved it (3016)
On 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm - misc - by sherrylynn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40472) - you deserved it (2320)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39879) - you deserved it (6775)
On 04/15/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by chrissy2 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38160) - you deserved it (3621)
On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44478) - you deserved it (3070)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41131) - you deserved it (2825)
On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16959) - you deserved it (28087)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
