Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emilyjgraham

Offline (the 05/08/2014 at 2:21am) | Search for a member

emilyjgraham

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4823
  • Number of comments : 752
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About emilyjgraham : I didn't realise I'd comment as often as I do otherwise I wouldn't have created such an obvious username... I'm just a bellend. If you want to talk to me please don't just say 'hi', say something interesting!! :)

emilyjgraham's page activity

Visits<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:15am<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:56pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:30pm<b>bjf21</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:54pm<b>NakMuayAdam</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:49am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:48am<b>TheElBurrrito</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:51am<b>saocrates</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:11am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:22am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:54am<b>splash69</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:26am<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:30am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:26pm<b>dubis7</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:51am<b>Meowolf_Kitler</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:24am<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 5:30pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:14am

emilyjgraham's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of emilyjgraham's badges

emilyjgraham's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53846) - you deserved it (5636)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55382) - you deserved it (8613)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39941) - you deserved it (3207)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51489) - you deserved it (6415)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57443) - you deserved it (5998)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45676) - you deserved it (12406)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43944) - you deserved it (2921)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49055) - you deserved it (4449)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40985) - you deserved it (9303)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17975) - you deserved it (88596)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52273) - you deserved it (4789)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I arrived at my college dorm. To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone. Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone. Guess who now owes the phone company all my money. FML

#20868766
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42392) - you deserved it (10698)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:49am - money - by OweLotsaMoney - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

#20836449
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49738) - you deserved it (6107)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: