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emiliosolo's favorite FMLs
Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML
by Anonymous / 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
by rufusthepenis / 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
by leftwardfoil / 08/19/2011 at 2:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by ekoblick / 06/17/2011 at 12:34am / United States / Health
by evomadrid24 / 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my son invited his girlfriend over to our house just to break up with her. Then he asked me to drive her home. So I was then stuck in a car with a bawling teenage girl who lived over twenty minutes away. FML
by Username / 06/16/2011 at 9:20am / United States / Love
by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by mike oxsmall / 06/16/2011 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by randomjulz / 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm / United States / Love
Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML
by Savannah / 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Evaki1 / 06/13/2011 at 10:24am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by isoheartcaitlin / 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Florida) / Love
- Today, I went on a first date with an attractive guy. At the end of it, he ended up holding my bag… Today, after years of public sector pay freezes, I finally got a 1% pay rise. Thanks to an increase… Today, I got my first job. I went in to work this afternoon fine, and came out with severe burns on…