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emceeShane

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emceeShane

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1167
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About emceeShane : Lmao Copter

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emceeShane's favorite FMLs

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
949 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72751) - you deserved it (419196)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

#133313
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (39970)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10877) - you deserved it (68305)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32620) - you deserved it (436040)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29097) - you deserved it (5335)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML

#13590
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27083) - you deserved it (5902)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

#5886
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23902) - you deserved it (2395)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

#5350
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14659) - you deserved it (61745)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

#4028
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (13765)

On 01/31/2009 at 8:51am - misc - by ayw329 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (5649)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42861) - you deserved it (3309)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (2246)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

#2388
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (1953)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58551) - you deserved it (7765)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)



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