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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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elsaha

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elsaha
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  • Number of visits : 1672
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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elsaha's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (39013) - you deserved it (2590)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

#5492768 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (25443) - you deserved it (1806)

On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

#5488289 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (5321)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML

#5481614 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (3519)

On 09/26/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by pygmalion (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, waiting for the bus, this creepy guy in the terminal kept staring at me. Feeling creeped out, I started walking, knowing I could pick up the bus down the street. When the bus drove up, it was almost completely full and the only open seat was next to the creepy dude from the bus station. FML

#5477161 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (24409) - you deserved it (3184)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:54pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML

#5468497 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (1831)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

#5466683 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (34045) - you deserved it (1881)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Non-active (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML

#5466337 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (54304) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/25/2009 at 1:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

#5465384 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (4516)

On 09/25/2009 at 12:11pm - work - by UnemployedGrad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML

#5464721 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (5507)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:01am - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML

#5463799 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (3455)

On 09/25/2009 at 9:09am - health - by boomstick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML

#5462449 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (4974)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:43am - health - by SterlingEnigma (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid and my husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

#5461426 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (27042) - you deserved it (7843)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:24am - love - by WOWreally (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

#5451406 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (2914)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML

#5448757 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (32331) - you deserved it (2593)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by NotFunny (woman) - United States (New York)