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Offline (the 10/06/2015 at 7:31pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1270
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ellymae96 : Love my pitbulls🐶
Obsessed with my car🚗
Instagram👉🏼 elisee_marie
;Big supporter of the semicolon project;

I will not give it to you

Feel free to message me though😊

ellymae96's page activity

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ellymae96's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37247) - you deserved it (3011)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11103) - you deserved it (25944)

On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you deserved it (7893)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (4623)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34260) - you deserved it (2869)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27585) - you deserved it (6347)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:32am - health - by ???? - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (3719)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42678) - you deserved it (7756)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8674) - you deserved it (34018)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35594) - you deserved it (5956)

On 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm - health - by DeepTaccer (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11703) - you deserved it (39127)

On 09/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by charlie043 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35479) - you deserved it (3142)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

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