ellymae96

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Offline (the 10/31/2015 at 1:46pm)

ellymae96

206Fucked!

ellymae96ellymae96
  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1732
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ellymae96 : Love my pitbulls🐶
Swimmer🏊🏻
Obsessed with my car🚗
Cellist🎶
Instagram👉🏼 elisee_marie

Feel free to message me😊

ellymae96's page activity

Visits<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 12:31am<b>Amrshalaby</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 4:46am<b>jacksavage33</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 11:48pm<b>juliaf</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 11:17pm<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 1:00am<b>rwal0912</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 9:46am<b>gearhead369</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 7:37am<b>tigershark44</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 3:06am<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 12:14am<b>vsinha</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 2:08am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 10:07pm<b>Schala360</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 4:46pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 5:17am<b>bigwell</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:55am<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 8:27pm<b>alissa__12</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:48pm<b>asharrrrr</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:33pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 7:38pm

Fucked!<b>masschris</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 9:26pm<b>asharrrrr</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:27am<b>mikeykisil</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:43am<b>ScenePanda45</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:44am<b>blcksocks</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 3:33am<b>Trinidad727</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:07am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 5:34pm<b>meatball4122</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 2:39am<b>vet1</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 4:22am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:07pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:20pm<b>TJON3Z</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:41pm<b>dvd1790</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:36am<b>KyleWilson</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:04am<b>gary8082</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:29pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:51am<b>skyttlz</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:26am

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ellymae96's favorite FMLs

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

by not cool / 06/28/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 7:12am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

by peace out / 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

by normal / 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

by deadhammy / 01/11/2013 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Animals