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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18868) - you deserved it (4767)
On 03/26/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Broderick (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22842) - you deserved it (2047)
On 03/23/2011 at 10:58am - misc - by jeanstein -
Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16814) - you deserved it (45637)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9962) - you deserved it (33897)
On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39626) - you deserved it (20241)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27636) - you deserved it (23808)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25125) - you deserved it (39979)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15261) - you deserved it (22154)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by gayboii (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15055) - you deserved it (45842)
On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (7118)
On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)
Today, someone rear-ended me while I was on my way home. I was extremely upset and I called my boyfriend for comfort and to help inspect the damage. After taking a good look at the car, he said, "Damn, if only you fucked this hard." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (5924)
On 03/18/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by emm (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35535) - you deserved it (6774)
On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11976) - you deserved it (34858)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35445) - you deserved it (2633)
On 03/16/2011 at 8:53am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15464) - you deserved it (66627)
On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States
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