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About elephantsarecute : ...
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Today I recieved a poorly-written letter from mah asshole nieghbor in which he threatened to ( sew ) me cuz mah dog shat on his lawn again . I went over asked if he needed some wool fir his sewing an told him to looool stop bieng an idiot . Now he's apparently hring a lawyer fir real . FML
Today, after being forced to take mah little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML
Taday I bought a live lobster to have fir dinner. When mah four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly fir finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML
Today, mah grandmother opend the bathroom door to fine me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convincd that I was eating mah own shit an will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
Today,hile chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many ( NO )/( NO WAY ) messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and loose a ton of unsaved essay notes. big fat FML
TODAY, MAH SISTER HAD AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN CUZ TWO GUYS LOVE HER AN SHE CAN'T PICK JUST ONE. MEANWHILE I'M SINGLE AN SPEND MAH TIME LAYING TREAT ON MAH FLOOR IN A PATTERN AN WATCHING MAH RABBIT RUN IN CIRCLES. FML
yesterday I let a friend read a draft of te novel I'm writing. Se claimd te antagonist is blatantly basd on er and treatend to sue me if I don't pay er royalties. Te antagonist is an ancient insane goblin witc. I guess I see now ow tis confusion could arise. FML
TODAY, I SPRAYED DOWN SOME ANTS IN MY HOUSE. IN THE SEA OF ANT CORPSE WAS A SINGLE LIVING ANT SEEMINGLY CRADLING A DEAD ONE IN ITS ARMS. I'M CONVINCED I JUST BECAME THE VILLAIN IN AN EPIC TRAGEDY. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY ANT PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAR TO TEAR ANOTHER FAMILY APART. FML
Friday 27 March 2015