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elephantom12

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elephantom12

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 886
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About elephantom12 : Ello'

elephantom12's page activity

Visits<b>me_ni</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:40am<b>Bree06</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:59am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:16pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:59am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:52pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:53pm<b>beatrice18</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:59am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:34am<b>ItsJustMe1616</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:42am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 10:51pm<b>jesse122333</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 11:13am<b>soccerstar1996</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 6:22pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 4:02pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 9:33am<b>UnoriGal</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:12pm<b>deathhill3</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 2:29pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 11:47pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 11:38am

Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 5:16am

elephantom12's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of elephantom12's badges

elephantom12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29666) - you deserved it (9405)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

#19361987
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6607) - you deserved it (35179)

On 03/28/2012 at 2:57am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (4594)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26591) - you deserved it (4423)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized how bad my feelings of inadequacy compared to other women and jealousy are when I started thumbing down songs on Pandora simply because the cover art had a better looking woman than me on it. FML

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10364) - you deserved it (55098)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

#19085409
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (2882)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm - health - by TerribleAddiction - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34859) - you deserved it (14237)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (4947)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33056) - you deserved it (8881)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (2918)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved



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