Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

elephande

Search for a member

elephande
  • Town/Country : Conroe, Texas, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 March 1988 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 945
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About elephande : What's there to say? I'm a 22 year old guy who likes to write and does his best not to sound like something the lolcat drug in.

elephande's last visitors

lmc94FreezeilovejunkfoodbbygiirlZebrasofa13ally_anonymouslittlesunshinesugarnspiceeinukitsiedirtynsweetDayummAdriana

elephande's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

elephande's favorite FMLs

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (4295)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

#15128708
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10695) - you deserved it (29124)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)

Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML

#15122545
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9066) - you deserved it (59876)

On 02/26/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

#15099296
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10636) - you deserved it (21118)

On 02/24/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

#15076677
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26024) - you deserved it (3518)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:28am - work - by Dean Heffern -

Today, a neighbor called the cops on me and my friends because we were "starting a fire" in the backyard. We were using a barbecue. FML

#15070074
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (1923)

On 02/21/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by EpicFailTime -

Today, I finally taught my mom how to text message people. Now I get a message from her every 30 seconds saying "Hi". FML

#15066931
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (11958)

On 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by moweezy9 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47892) - you deserved it (40067)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9241) - you deserved it (56324)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

#14955140
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (4625)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45714) - you deserved it (3147)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (12760)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34660) - you deserved it (9200)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5840) - you deserved it (72855)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: