elephande

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elephande

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 March 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1213
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About elephande : What's there to say? I'm a 22 year old guy who likes to write and does his best not to sound like something the lolcat drug in.

elephande's page activity

Visits<b>lbrenthurst</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 8:03pm<b>idkwat2useasname</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:07pm<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 7:32pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/31/2011 at 2:42am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:46pm<b></b> - the 03/18/2011 at 9:02pm<b>ilovejunkfood</b> - the 01/27/2011 at 5:01pm<b>bbygiirl</b> - the 01/20/2011 at 5:29pm<b>ally_anonymous</b> - the 01/15/2011 at 2:13am<b>littlesunshine</b> - the 01/04/2011 at 1:41pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 10/08/2010 at 12:09pm<b>inukitsie</b> - the 09/23/2010 at 9:13am<b>dirtynsweet</b> - the 09/19/2010 at 9:59am<b>DayummAdriana</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 10:53pm<b>metalmaiden</b> - the 08/19/2010 at 1:43pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 07/30/2010 at 2:56pm<b>poorlittlelaurs</b> - the 07/26/2010 at 12:08am<b>me_kristen30</b> - the 07/23/2010 at 12:07am

elephande's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

elephande's favorite FMLs

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

by Username / 02/28/2011 at 12:44am / Intimacy

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

by jm_track / 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML

by hopeless / 02/26/2011 at 1:49am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2011 at 4:44am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Transportation

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

by Dean Heffern / 02/22/2011 at 9:28am / Work

Today, a neighbor called the cops on me and my friends because we were "starting a fire" in the backyard. We were using a barbecue. FML

by EpicFailTime / 02/21/2011 at 9:21pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally taught my mom how to text message people. Now I get a message from her every 30 seconds saying "Hi". FML

by moweezy9 / 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

by howler / 02/15/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

by knockedup / 02/13/2011 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

by fmlskank93 / 09/01/2010 at 7:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

by imustbegay / 05/09/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

by Ottawa / 05/12/2009 at 10:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy