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electrorange's favorite FMLs
Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML
by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
by skc / 03/14/2009 at 7:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML
by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML
by Damn_her / 03/04/2009 at 7:04pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
Today, while getting off the bus, there was a lady in front of me wearing a dress and suddenly her phone dropped out of her bag. I picked up the phone for her which landed right beneath her dress and as she turned around she thought I was trying to take pictures of her panties and slapped me. FML
by AznKoreanGuy / 03/04/2009 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
by FMluck / 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by VacationTSA / 02/19/2009 at 11:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Ren / 01/30/2009 at 10:50am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Ohai / 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by carrie / 01/13/2009 at 1:41am / Algeria / Miscellaneous
Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…