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eksyneet

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eksyneet

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 546
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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eksyneet's page activity

Visits<b>Bloink</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:19pm<b>Connerm</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 12:28am<b>mrfancyman</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Jose2018</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:45am<b>AWiseChicken</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:10pm<b>helpmeimdreaming</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:49pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:08am<b>BellaMuerte666</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:07pm<b>CMC_LOVES_MGM</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:40am<b>knt_rocks</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:00am<b>staaacey</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:48pm<b>theresstilllight</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:13am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:09pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 11:32am<b>XTheDesertSongX</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:07am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:20am<b>Kagulocke</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 6:31am<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 6:09am

eksyneet's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of eksyneet's badges

eksyneet's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47942) - you deserved it (9544)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48240) - you deserved it (7524)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48405) - you deserved it (8050)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (4507)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54902) - you deserved it (27588)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49467) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

#20870423
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21236) - you deserved it (42375)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by howprofessional (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44404) - you deserved it (3160)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62931) - you deserved it (3637)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (2888)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53763) - you deserved it (8457)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68883) - you deserved it (3951)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

#20686906
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53019) - you deserved it (2840)

On 05/26/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by gooddeedgonebad (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (4570)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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