eksyneet

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Offline (the 08/24/2015 at 7:59pm)

eksyneet

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1305
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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eksyneet's page activity

Visits<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:33am<b>mlbmarlins</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 7:59am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 7:05am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:47pm<b>thetacosniper</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 7:39am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 7:08am<b>ironik69</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 3:41am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 12:11pm<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:55am<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 1:12pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 11:25pm<b>jasonm27</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:50am<b>wil1029</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:00am<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:57am<b>munuxi</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:34am<b>psackett</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:37pm<b>hollenbackam</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:09am

Fucked!<b>ironik69</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 9:41am<b>TheDarkAce13000</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Futebol_Queen11</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:39pm<b>aperron96</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:22pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:57pm<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:17pm<b>Kailayla</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:44am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 3:03am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:04am<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:13pm<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:25am

eksyneet's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of eksyneet's badges

eksyneet's favorite FMLs

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

by Anon / 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

by zzfreakshow / 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

by kelbel89 / 10/01/2013 at 5:46pm / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

by howprofessional / 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

by cassidy_smith12 / 08/24/2013 at 10:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 2:11am / United States (Iowa) / Money