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eksyneet

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eksyneet
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 365
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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eksyneet's last visitors

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eksyneet's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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eksyneet's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45804) - you deserved it (9034)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42995) - you deserved it (5777)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45832) - you deserved it (7652)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37686) - you deserved it (4002)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52744) - you deserved it (26550)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48265) - you deserved it (3820)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

#20870423
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (41043)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by howprofessional (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42367) - you deserved it (2991)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58770) - you deserved it (3319)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40590) - you deserved it (2736)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51395) - you deserved it (8167)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66708) - you deserved it (3793)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

#20686906
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49826) - you deserved it (2626)

On 05/26/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by gooddeedgonebad (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27352) - you deserved it (4208)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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