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ekim300

Offline (the 12/16/2014 at 4:25am) | Search for a member

ekim300

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 862
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ekim300's page activity

Visits<b>Since1998</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:44pm<b>FallenBaphomet</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 9:04am<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 12:01pm<b>oliviaarrrr</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 4:19pm<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 12:48pm<b>oj101</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 5:04am<b>EmberFury</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:01pm<b>roccolockwood</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 2:07pm

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ekim300's favorite FMLs

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27765) - you deserved it (4626)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6445) - you deserved it (46866)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (2292)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

#19898795
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9414) - you deserved it (28191)

On 07/06/2012 at 2:52am - misc - by CanadianTwin - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29272) - you deserved it (4699)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (8911)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. FML

#19363644
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30130) - you deserved it (5002)

On 03/28/2012 at 1:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

#19243836
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40069) - you deserved it (6861)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (3908)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31638) - you deserved it (7811)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (2271)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

#18864460
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (8284)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12779) - you deserved it (46607)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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