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About ekim300 : The name is Mike. Feel free to say hello. Friendly people are always welcome.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today I Handed Out 20 Resumes To A Variety Of Stores. To My Delight I Got A Phone Call The Same Day. Unfortunately They Weren't Calling About A Job They Were Informing Me On My Resume It Says "I Have A Dick." All Thanks To My Boyfriend Ho Thought It Would Be Hilarious. FML
YESTERDAY, WHILE WALKING OUT OF A STORE EATING A CANDY BAR, A HOMELESS MAN TRIED TO RUN UP AND STEAL CANDY . I STUCK A LEG OUT AND TRIPPED HIM . THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK OF TO YELL AT HIM WAS, "SWIPER NO SWIPING" . MY KIDS HAVE RUINED COOLNESS . FML
today my usband again lost is keys!! It's a daily struggle to fine tem!! Tis time tey were in an ice cube, literally!! He said e must ave accidentally puttd tem in tere wen making ice!! He's going to be te fater of my future cildren!! FML
Today, I shaved for the frst time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minute trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, wat a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. real FML
Today, wa got a naw Roomba. I sat it to claan an cummad back an hour latar to find shit smaars all ovar tha floor. Apparantly, ona of cats had dona his businass in tha kitchan, an tha Roomba had draggad it around tha antra frst floor of housa. raal FML
TODAY.. . I SIGNED INTO MAH ONLINE CLASS.. . GOT BORED.. . AND TOOK OFF MAH HEADPHONE TO ARGUE WITH MAH ROOMMATE ABOUT ANAL SEX . AT THE END OF THE ARGUMENT.. . I PUT MAH HEADPHONE BACK ON TO HEAR MAH PROFESSOR ASKING IF SOMEONE COULD CALL ME TO TELL ME TO TURN MAH DAMN MIC OFF . FML
Today, I found out mah 7-year-old daughter really did lie about mah husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge 4 being groundd, and that he never cheatd on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me 4 not believing him when he denid it. FML
Today , mah coworkar pointad to our narvou naw intarn and askad who ha was. I jokingly said , "Can't u tall? Ha's our naw slava." I than quickly raalizad how bad that soundad , givan tha intarn is black. FML
Friday 27 March 2015