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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ejwalters97

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ejwalters97
  • Town/Country : Herndon, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 April 1997 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 601
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ejwalters97 : I am awsom

ejwalters97's last visitors

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ejwalters97's FML badges

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ejwalters97's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478 (382)

I agree, your life sucks (9749) - you deserved it (1127)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (11170) - you deserved it (1103)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025 (396)

I agree, your life sucks (4284) - you deserved it (9771)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

#18583606 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (1978) - you deserved it (7864)

On 12/22/2011 at 10:02pm - animals - by steve - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

#18533505 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (8775) - you deserved it (2536)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (8667) - you deserved it (693)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (7897) - you deserved it (978)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (12958) - you deserved it (1391)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (2620) - you deserved it (15929)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (20884) - you deserved it (2438)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

#18334271 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (8633) - you deserved it (684)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (21496) - you deserved it (3616)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (25289) - you deserved it (4114)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

#18266824 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (2784) - you deserved it (9424)

On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902 (410)

I agree, your life sucks (13076) - you deserved it (51210)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)