Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eggfactory

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

eggfactory

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 June 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 734
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eggfactory : Well that's unfortunate, you were probably looking for a hot young lady and here you are. Except i'm past 28 and a giant nerd. I also like puns, and crumbs, motherfucking crumbs. Aw Yissss.

eggfactory's page activity

Visits<b>PresAgent</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:03am<b>hguthery14</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 11:34pm<b>goalie01</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 5:39am<b>Hetalia_freak</b> - the 09/27/2012 at 4:51am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/28/2012 at 11:14am<b>bluecheesehash</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 10:34pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 03/02/2012 at 7:32am<b>swiwi</b> - the 02/12/2012 at 5:54pm

eggfactory's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of eggfactory's badges

eggfactory's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14538) - you deserved it (46556)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef is throwing food at us, I'm getting ready for my turn. He tosses the piece of broccoli at me, I lean back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

#7534746
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19929) - you deserved it (6837)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by ashley_skillz06 - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML

#7492497
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9346) - you deserved it (29473)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47531) - you deserved it (5538)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

#6856689
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8626) - you deserved it (31643)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML

#6519803
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (5267)

On 11/29/2009 at 7:47pm - misc - by perfectmoment - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my dog to the vet because he hadn't eaten his food in three days, was drinking a lot of water, and was peeing a lot (all signs of antifreeze poisoning). I spent $200 at the vet to tell me that my dog is fine and just didn't like his current food. FML

#6367435
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (5018)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15341) - you deserved it (34799)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

#4026521
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8178) - you deserved it (80132)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML

#3879305
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49475) - you deserved it (4224)

On 07/19/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: