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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
eggfactory's favorite FMLs
by ZAnon / 02/06/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals
by Puppy problems / 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health
by djxerxes9000 / 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm / Canada / Work
Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML
by Enyo / 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm / Reserved / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML
by anonymous / 11/10/2012 at 6:02am / United States / Love
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom,… Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls,… Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed…