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eggfactory

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eggfactory

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 June 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 779
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eggfactory : Well that's unfortunate, you were probably looking for a hot young lady and here you are. Except i'm past 28 and a giant nerd. I also like puns, and crumbs, motherfucking crumbs. Aw Yissss.

eggfactory's page activity

Visits<b>Liam115</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:12pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:03am<b>hguthery14</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 11:34pm<b>goalie01</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 5:39am<b>Hetalia_freak</b> - the 09/27/2012 at 4:51am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/28/2012 at 11:14am<b>bluecheesehash</b> - the 03/28/2012 at 10:34pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 03/02/2012 at 7:32am<b>swiwi</b> - the 02/12/2012 at 5:54pm

eggfactory's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of eggfactory's badges

eggfactory's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (5004)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you deserved it (27554)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (7762)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35112) - you deserved it (11683)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44251) - you deserved it (3963)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

#17794550
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (5502)

On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28819) - you deserved it (3464)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (54301)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML

#16041844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11923) - you deserved it (29998)

On 05/04/2011 at 6:01am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was chosen to MC a function at work. I developed a terrible case of hiccups which made the audience giggle and groan for the duration of my time on stage. FML

#15461657
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22614) - you deserved it (2929)

On 03/24/2011 at 3:29am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31108) - you deserved it (8827)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (4575)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10821) - you deserved it (34899)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119081) - you deserved it (16051)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)



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