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eggfactory

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eggfactory

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 June 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 531
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eggfactory : Well that's unfortunate, you were probably looking for a hot young lady and here you are. Except i'm past 28 and a giant nerd. I also like puns, and crumbs, motherfucking crumbs. Aw Yissss.

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eggfactory's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49547) - you deserved it (3949)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56216) - you deserved it (11992)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47381) - you deserved it (4883)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20317) - you deserved it (5179)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (3835)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (2206)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17199) - you deserved it (29527)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31867) - you deserved it (4985)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31780) - you deserved it (27444)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (7746)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (11626)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42324) - you deserved it (3812)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

#17794550
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31219) - you deserved it (5478)

On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28636) - you deserved it (3451)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



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