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eggfactory's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 3:37pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
Today, my step mom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a step mom. FML
by anonymous / 12/12/2015 at 3:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Muina / 10/23/2015 at 7:08am / Morocco (Meknes-Tafilalet) / Money
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML
by S to the HIT / 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm / United States (California) / Work
by tumbleshay / 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by headache / 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ZAnon / 02/06/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals
by Puppy problems / 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
- Today, I began to come down with a bad stomach bug at school. however, since I had already had 10… Today, I was doing gymnastics with my friends out on a field after school. While doing a handstand,… Today, I had a dream that I did well in my Business Studies exam. I slept so long that I overslept,…