Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eftup

Search for a member

eftup

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1239
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eftup : Hi.

eftup's page activity

Visits<b>Luke1787</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 9:07am<b>timberwolf800</b> - the 01/30/2012 at 8:13pm<b>OhHeySara</b> - the 12/26/2011 at 11:36pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 7:02pm<b>wussypillow</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 8:48pm<b>NinaTatianna</b> - the 10/24/2011 at 12:26am<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 9:14am<b>Riiley</b> - the 10/06/2011 at 6:16pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 9:29am<b>kmwis_00</b> - the 08/26/2011 at 11:34pm<b>lovexbox</b> - the 07/19/2011 at 7:35pm<b>Chiisai</b> - the 07/15/2011 at 11:53am<b>Ashleigh201</b> - the 07/09/2011 at 3:46pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 06/24/2011 at 3:44pm<b>ilovejunkfood</b> - the 04/02/2011 at 4:58pm<b>DeadOnArrivall</b> - the 03/21/2011 at 8:49pm<b>killakiwi</b> - the 03/21/2011 at 3:41pm

eftup's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of eftup's badges

eftup's favorite FMLs

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (3777)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37494) - you deserved it (3088)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11714) - you deserved it (41575)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54821) - you deserved it (5408)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (8236)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22382) - you deserved it (4249)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34363) - you deserved it (9554)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (9862)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130565) - you deserved it (7326)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73552) - you deserved it (7676)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (43066)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50210) - you deserved it (7802)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55445) - you deserved it (4261)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

#16126004
249 comments

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34625) - you deserved it (48589)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: