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eericcartman

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eericcartman

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  • Number of visits : 220
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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eericcartman's page activity

Visits<b>mufasaniqqa</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 8:16pm<b>Silvercat15</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:19am<b>slippy327</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 8:37pm<b>MysticAmmu</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 9:16am<b>aznkid25</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 6:41pm

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eericcartman's favorite FMLs

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40961) - you deserved it (3859)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34347) - you deserved it (4673)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10023) - you deserved it (33950)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41844) - you deserved it (5908)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML

#20416192
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40738) - you deserved it (11893)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (2505)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16958) - you deserved it (45551)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (10431) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

#20024799
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6989) - you deserved it (40608)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

#20011112
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15669) - you deserved it (20296)

On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (3009)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

#20007202
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9409) - you deserved it (29530)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27547) - you deserved it (2364)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10736) - you deserved it (36862)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France



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