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Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9001) - you totally deserved it (8591)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I bought the film 'March of the Penguins'. I sat down and watched few minutes of a dull documentary anticipating the moment that a baby penguin would jump up and start dancing. When nothing happened, I realised the 'March of the Penguins' and 'Happy Feet' were not the same film. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3120) - you totally deserved it (33913)
On 12/13/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Derek (man) - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5677) - you totally deserved it (19629)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6405) - you totally deserved it (18399)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8465) - you totally deserved it (11525)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5381) - you totally deserved it (16297)
On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)
Today, I hired a professional makeup artist to apply my makeup for a wedding. After paying her $500 for the excellent job she does, and getting dressed, I grabbed the invitation to check out the address, and it said the wedding was on December 2. Today is December 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5891) - you totally deserved it (31571)
On 12/03/2009 at 5:29pm - money - by DidntCheckTheCalendar (woman) - Kuwait
Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17100) - you totally deserved it (21491)
On 12/03/2009 at 4:08am - work - by WTFFAIL (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you totally deserved it (1888)
On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6619) - you totally deserved it (18463)
On 12/02/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18985) - you totally deserved it (4891)
On 12/02/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15099) - you totally deserved it (1575)
On 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Furry (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I found out that my husband thinks its okay to have an online girlfriend and have naked pictures sent to his email because he's not "physically touching, making love, or kissing". The sad part is that the online girlfriend gets more action than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you totally deserved it (2569)
On 12/02/2009 at 12:57am - love - by j.b. - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3209) - you totally deserved it (44978)
On 12/01/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by reptar2009 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you totally deserved it (6254)
On 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by poopiemanlol - Canada (Ontario)
