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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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easilydistracted

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easilydistracted
  • Town/Country : Austin, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 December 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 696
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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easilydistracted's favorite FMLs

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldnt have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriends excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He isn't laughing. FML

#12715880 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (2551)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:30am - love - by XxDiabolikalXx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML

#12714579 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (23238) - you deserved it (3163)

On 08/24/2010 at 1:52am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I paid for my shopping at a self paying checkout. I had a lot of shopping and there was a big line. When I scanned my last item, the machine read out, "EXTRA SMALL LUBRICATED DUREX CONDOMS." FML

#12679299 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (25268) - you deserved it (16098)

On 08/22/2010 at 5:37am - intimacy - by YogiBear - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (35966) - you deserved it (10382)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML

#12657778 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (13534) - you deserved it (20172)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to give blood for the first time. When I sat down the guy said "First time?" I told him yes and he replied "Me too." FML

#12631880 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (2404)

On 08/19/2010 at 8:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML

#12352177 (351)

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (9900)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

#12248112 (376)

I agree, your life sucks (6399) - you deserved it (49882)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by manicmandy - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (6002) - you deserved it (52517)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

#11846185 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (10267) - you deserved it (25686)

On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (15361) - you deserved it (14939)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML

#8590845 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (28452) - you deserved it (4380)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Pip (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

#8324479 (418)

I agree, your life sucks (2699) - you deserved it (38411)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (19077) - you deserved it (3699)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (7648) - you deserved it (24853)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)