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Today, I realized that mixing alcohol with my medication causes me to lose my memory. I went to see my favorite band in concert last night and I can't remember a single song they played. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7684) - you deserved it (28151)
Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (1758)
On 02/02/2012 at 2:07am - kids - by Insomniac (woman) - United States
Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (2414)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland
Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you deserved it (2027)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm - kids - by Bruce (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14705) - you deserved it (6351)
On 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by pmony - United States (New York)
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (3073)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19786) - you deserved it (2568)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -
Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27242) - you deserved it (2395)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, it was our class field trip. I got five dollars from ten different people because they wanted me to sit away from them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (3209)
On 02/01/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by Arniii - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26178) - you deserved it (2449)
On 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by manhandled - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45517) - you deserved it (3029)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14336) - you deserved it (1618)
On 02/01/2012 at 7:21am - misc - by JohhnyKeroscene - United States
Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20331) - you deserved it (1669)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:22am - misc - by dammit - United States
Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23287) - you deserved it (3101)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (4994)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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