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e077

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e077
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 March 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 3807
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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e077's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML

#19054485
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (3514)

On 02/12/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by TowelSinger (woman) -

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

#19053808
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (5307)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:17am - love - by OwMyBalls (man) -

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

#19053035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (7010)

On 02/11/2012 at 11:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

#19045630
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (4636)

On 02/11/2012 at 12:57am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (6939)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

#19005217
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7245) - you deserved it (33130)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by tkr (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML

#18996569
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (4480)

On 02/04/2012 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by dasnich (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

#18992832
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28754) - you deserved it (5037)

On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML

#18986736
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (2656)

On 02/03/2012 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by B (man) - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36926) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15365) - you deserved it (19658)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

#18974719
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25665) - you deserved it (4396)

On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)

Today, I realized that mixing alcohol with my medication causes me to lose my memory. I went to see my favorite band in concert last night and I can't remember a single song they played. FML

#18974554
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9080) - you deserved it (37773)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:10am - health - by Kreen - China

Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML

#18974357
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22641) - you deserved it (2270)

On 02/02/2012 at 2:07am - kids - by Insomniac (woman) - United States



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