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e077's FML badges
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e077's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2012 at 11:52pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 02/11/2012 at 12:57am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by jodibut / 02/06/2012 at 11:18am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
by tkr / 02/05/2012 at 10:14pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML
by dasnich / 02/04/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by me / 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
by B / 02/03/2012 at 8:17pm / United States / Intimacy
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by DieTrying / 02/02/2012 at 4:31am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Kreen / 02/02/2012 at 3:10am / China / Health
Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML
by Insomniac / 02/02/2012 at 2:07am / United States / Kids
by zobara / 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm / Switzerland / Money
- Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not… Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of… Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to…