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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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e077's favorite FMLs
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
by analeis / 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Health
by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek
by thammer / 03/24/2012 at 9:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML
by jennag5 / 03/24/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by moneycatious / 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Washington) / Money
Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML
by bibi / 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Animals
Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML
by bitchyhiccups / 03/19/2012 at 9:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by cachucy / 03/18/2012 at 11:04am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love
by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by sdk2010 / 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by FootyFoot / 03/06/2012 at 6:50am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…