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e077's FML badges
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You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
e077's favorite FMLs
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by bill / 10/24/2012 at 7:14am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! / 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML
by jeanrose2013 / 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by buccaneer / 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML
by nahalDZ / 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
by MIND BLOWING / 10/20/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 4:42am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by Taco Hell / 10/19/2012 at 2:43am / United States (Ohio) / Work
by anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States / Love
by Sad Sally / 04/24/2012 at 7:22am / United States / Health
by sadmommy / 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my… Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her… Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need…