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dwights

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dwights

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 43920
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About dwights : Hey I'm 18. I'm from California. I love the ocean. thats pretty much it.

dwights's page activity

Visits<b>HannaVega42</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:50am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:44pm<b>cwrocker</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:08am<b>rainedrops</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:31am<b>courtneykay123</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:26am<b>imhope</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:25pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:56am<b>Sakura13</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 1:06pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 7:13pm<b>posampo</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 9:33am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 1:53am<b>username666</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 5:03pm<b>agent007</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 2:19am<b>niqsters</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 11:25pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 3:56am<b>crazy_chickxoxo</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 1:06pm<b>Mingusdewiv</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 3:46pm

dwights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dwights's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML

#2582009
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46690) - you deserved it (2044)

On 06/03/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by kilo1_13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

#2562332
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49472) - you deserved it (18241)

On 06/03/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by Kyokushin (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

#2557919
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59052) - you deserved it (25314)

On 06/03/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by galen (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61253) - you deserved it (5564)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

#2526721
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65931) - you deserved it (5973)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

#2525381
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43247) - you deserved it (3681)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML

#2523037
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52327) - you deserved it (6015)

On 06/02/2009 at 1:41am - love - by toobad (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

#2513205
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54974) - you deserved it (31069)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64604) - you deserved it (4737)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

#2471479
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69205) - you deserved it (11443)

On 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by fmeplease (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML

#2459648
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45889) - you deserved it (4194)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (74725)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML

#2456065
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (23290)

On 05/31/2009 at 2:46am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52332) - you deserved it (2589)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)



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