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dwights

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dwights

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 44041
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About dwights : Hey I'm 18. I'm from California. I love the ocean. thats pretty much it.

dwights's page activity

Visits<b>lakers123123</b> - yesterday at 1:45pm<b>HannaVega42</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:50am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:44pm<b>cwrocker</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:08am<b>rainedrops</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:31am<b>courtneykay123</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:26am<b>imhope</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:25pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:56am<b>Sakura13</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 1:06pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 7:13pm<b>posampo</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 9:33am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 1:53am<b>username666</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 5:03pm<b>agent007</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 2:19am<b>niqsters</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 11:25pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 3:56am<b>crazy_chickxoxo</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 1:06pm

dwights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dwights's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

#3483555
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44431) - you deserved it (20774)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by twintowers (woman) - United States

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

#3479922
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (38281)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Singed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63857) - you deserved it (12493)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the 8th grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML

#3465145
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64445) - you deserved it (15772)

On 07/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (48015)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML

#3407899
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51433) - you deserved it (2265)

On 07/01/2009 at 8:58pm - love - by dwaggle (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148393) - you deserved it (9344)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to start running to stay fit. Before I left, I put my cell phone in my sweat shirt pocket, and jumped vigorously up and down and ran around my apartment to make sure it wouldn't fall out. On a bridge, it slides out of my pocket and drops fifteen feet into the water below. FML

#3360429
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38671) - you deserved it (14584)

On 06/30/2009 at 5:23am - health - by Ginny (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

#3302714
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91121) - you deserved it (6501)

On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

#3295379
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57518) - you deserved it (4399)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

#3292838
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45020) - you deserved it (4019)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

#3271305
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60599) - you deserved it (9155)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Victim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8921) - you deserved it (114919)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML

#3260741
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8001) - you deserved it (46397)

On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)



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