About dwights : Hey I'm 18. I'm from California. I love the ocean. thats pretty much it.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62043) - you deserved it (6993)
On 07/18/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by Meh (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11291) - you deserved it (35390)
On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend was teaching me to drive, and told me he agreed with the stereotype that women are worse drivers than men. I argued with him so heatedly about how it was just like a man to say something like that, that I drove through our garage doors because I wasn't paying attention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7591) - you deserved it (45582)
On 07/17/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (3689)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18293) - you deserved it (32128)
On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6487) - you deserved it (60607)
On 07/13/2009 at 12:28am - love - by Terry (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40300) - you deserved it (9193)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61022) - you deserved it (9515)
On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61022) - you deserved it (9515)
On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10588) - you deserved it (40407)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:35am - animals - by tryscal - United States (California)
Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43077) - you deserved it (3631)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45190) - you deserved it (1707)
On 07/11/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by ttsutaoka (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine- until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to drive, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33988) - you deserved it (3841)
On 07/11/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33839) - you deserved it (6112)
On 07/10/2009 at 9:09pm - money - by thanksalot (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (8039)
On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)
Monday 20 May 2013
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