dwights

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dwights

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 46506
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About dwights : Hey I'm 18. I'm from California. I love the ocean. thats pretty much it.

dwights's page activity

Visits<b>LeonardoDiCrapio</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 1:28pm<b>dhuzz</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:29pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:06pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:37pm<b>_powerslave666</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 10:14pm<b>lakers123123</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:45pm<b>HannaVega42</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:50am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:44pm<b>cwrocker</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:08am<b>rainedrops</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:31am<b>courtneykay123</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:26am<b>imhope</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:25pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:56am<b>Sakura13</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 1:06pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 10:23pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 7:13pm<b>posampo</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 9:33am

dwights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dwights's favorite FMLs

Today, to cheer my girlfriend up after her mother died a week ago, I took her to a comedy club. The comedian's theme for the night happened to be mother-daughter relationships. FML

by RupeeLink / 07/27/2009 at 7:33pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Love

Today, my brother decided it would be funny to squirt disappearing ink on my wedding dress right before I walked down the aisle. It didn't disappear. FML

by randomnamehere / 07/27/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML

by reckless182 / 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

by HorrorByrd / 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

by helpfulmom / 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

by nosrepamai82 / 07/26/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was getting ready for a date. I spent extra time getting ready in the shower, making sure I was all shaved. I was shaving my upper lip to make sure I didn't have a mustache. I cut my lip really badly, leaving the most noticable razor cut on my face for my date. I'm a girl. FML

by dajfleasd / 07/25/2009 at 6:22pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML

by lonely / 07/25/2009 at 7:13am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML

by Kimberly / 07/25/2009 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

by Sally / 07/24/2009 at 5:04am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

by Gordon / 07/22/2009 at 10:12am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview with an environmentalist organization. I got the job, my FIRST job, a great first job doing something I am passionate about. An hour after the interview was over, they called me back and asked if I was 18. I'm 17, and unemployed again. FML

by taylrrina / 07/22/2009 at 4:32am / United States (Washington) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy