About dwights : Hey I'm 18. I'm from California. I love the ocean. thats pretty much it.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (61546)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45152) - you deserved it (1969)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Tyler (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43088) - you deserved it (7427)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54688) - you deserved it (11468)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44875) - you deserved it (3063)
On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59550) - you deserved it (12167)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36819) - you deserved it (997)
On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38666) - you deserved it (2385)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49643) - you deserved it (13466)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40675) - you deserved it (3401)
On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9440) - you deserved it (36848)
On 07/30/2009 at 8:02am - intimacy - by BrokenVow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44877) - you deserved it (1646)
On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44877) - you deserved it (1646)
On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44877) - you deserved it (1646)
On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44893) - you deserved it (1854)
On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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