Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dwights

Search for a member

dwights

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 43918
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About dwights : Hey I'm 18. I'm from California. I love the ocean. thats pretty much it.

dwights's page activity

Visits<b>HannaVega42</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:50am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:44pm<b>cwrocker</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:08am<b>rainedrops</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:31am<b>courtneykay123</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 9:26am<b>imhope</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:25pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:56am<b>Sakura13</b> - the 03/17/2011 at 1:06pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 7:13pm<b>posampo</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 9:33am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 1:53am<b>username666</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 5:03pm<b>agent007</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 2:19am<b>niqsters</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 11:25pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 3:56am<b>crazy_chickxoxo</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 1:06pm<b>Mingusdewiv</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 3:46pm

dwights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dwights's favorite FMLs

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39771) - you deserved it (2947)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

#4803979
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41097) - you deserved it (3849)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:47am - animals - by MrMagicMan000 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spilled my heart out to a guy by showing him one of my poetry journals. He read through it and said, "Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you wrote about." The poems were all about how I loved him. FML

#4747171
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (7036)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:41pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43766) - you deserved it (22486)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML

#4706873
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37005) - you deserved it (2759)

On 08/21/2009 at 11:36am - love - by sophistication (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18106) - you deserved it (44634)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9382) - you deserved it (91569)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45157) - you deserved it (4478)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

#4649548
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13545) - you deserved it (35471)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

#4641799
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (5271)

On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56752) - you deserved it (11347)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49271) - you deserved it (17195)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

#4606857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35518) - you deserved it (20178)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML

#4571897
101 comments

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

#4570471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45142) - you deserved it (7417)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: