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dvdpz89

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 911
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dvdpz89's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19596) - you deserved it (1511)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16976) - you deserved it (45585)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (1537)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

#20130942
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39057) - you deserved it (2021)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

#20107056
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (5278)

On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML

#20106327
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (2127)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by working_as_usual (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (6607)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (2534)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (1960)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (5557)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (5192)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

#20089247
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19711) - you deserved it (1551)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21750) - you deserved it (2536)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML

#20071794
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you deserved it (2404)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)



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