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dunicha

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dunicha

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5647
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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dunicha's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21281) - you deserved it (49986)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51970) - you deserved it (3887)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40484) - you deserved it (6427)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52635) - you deserved it (7168)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41667) - you deserved it (17450)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at my desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in their cubicles. FML

#21193942
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (9933)

On 06/30/2014 at 3:51pm - work - by Whoopsie (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

#21191841
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42875) - you deserved it (4753)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46217) - you deserved it (8331)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42758) - you deserved it (6223)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

#21164174
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (38936)

On 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm - misc - by charitableidiot (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59205) - you deserved it (4569)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43482) - you deserved it (16225)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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