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dunicha's FML badges
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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dunicha's favorite FMLs
Today, at my wedding reception, my wife's Grandfather decided to sing for everyone. The first words out of his mouth once he got the microphone were, "I'm a Senior Swinger." I had to explain to my appalled guests that it was just the name of the chorus group at his retirement home. FML
by ohnohedidnt / 12/05/2015 at 8:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by not twilight / 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy
by ModernCindy / 11/30/2015 at 11:07am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Animals
by CaraMaria / 11/24/2015 at 4:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/23/2015 at 9:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML
by weldingmachine217 / 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML
by friendless1004 / 11/12/2015 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
by Porche / 11/12/2015 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML
by misfitunfit / 11/10/2015 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML
by bianca131 / 11/09/2015 at 10:42pm / Australia / Intimacy
by Kidsthesedays / 11/09/2015 at 2:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids
Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML
by damaged / 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm / United States (California) / Transportation