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dunicha

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dunicha
  • Town/Country : Houston, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2399
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dunicha's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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dunicha's favorite FMLs

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45043) - you deserved it (15888)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

#21056589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32999) - you deserved it (14393)

On 02/10/2014 at 7:45pm - misc - by QueueJumper (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38556) - you deserved it (7451)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (3693)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48635) - you deserved it (4737) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47284) - you deserved it (5528)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40434) - you deserved it (10148)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39772) - you deserved it (11622)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42348) - you deserved it (8330)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

#21038740
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35205) - you deserved it (5795)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm - misc - by DJ (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40950) - you deserved it (13763)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47292) - you deserved it (8639)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (47509)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)



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