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dunicha's FML badges
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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dunicha's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a man help an elderly lady with her tray at the local McDonald's. I wanted to do something nice for him, so I added a couple extra nuggets in his meal. He later came up to me and told me I was dumb and didn't know how to count, and that was why I was working at McDonald's. FML
by korbo7 / 05/16/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
Today, at work, the shopping carts have coin locks on them so people put them back or don't go stealing them. A lady couldn't find a coin, so I unlocked one with my key and said to her, "It doesn't look like you will run off and steal it" as a joke. She replied, "I can't run darling, I have an artificial leg." FML
by TrolleyCollector / 05/13/2016 at 5:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, my overweight colleague twisted his ankle. He's pretty self-conscious about his weight, but I had a brain-fart and told him he shouldn't try to put too much weight on it. His feelings are more hurt than his ankle now. FML
by WeighYourWords / 05/03/2016 at 7:12am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Work
by tellyc / 04/25/2016 at 10:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 2:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Dipping Tired / 04/20/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 3:16am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML
by TipsyTj / 03/29/2016 at 9:05am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML
by inpain / 03/17/2016 at 12:56am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML
by singlemam / 03/14/2016 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
- Today, I took off my engagement ring to shower (or so I think) because it's too big, considering we… Today, I woke up to myself screaming and something furry jumping from my blanket and out through my… Today, I decided to wear a tank top, but I wasn't sure if I would be dress-coded, so I decided to…