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dunicha

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dunicha

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4191
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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dunicha's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14874) - you deserved it (1225)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

#21287120
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (2030)

On 10/28/2014 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (10510)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (3323)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30364) - you deserved it (4408)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (9787)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33836) - you deserved it (4089)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35341) - you deserved it (3723)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42302) - you deserved it (5124)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (3811)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30263) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41098) - you deserved it (4329)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (8340)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (18203)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)



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