![[fr]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1812) - you deserved it (11457)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6051) - you deserved it (1649)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I saw a little boy, clear as day, walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6434) - you deserved it (1839)
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5570) - you deserved it (500)
On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4976) - you deserved it (2054)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18865) - you deserved it (3664)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3580) - you deserved it (12373) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7341) - you deserved it (1492)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got my hands on some meet and greet passes for a concert. My fiancé and I got our picture taken with the band. A few moments later, in my excitement, instead of texting the picture to my friend, I accidentally deleted it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6840) - you deserved it (2970)
On 02/15/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by vixiecat - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (3503)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21263) - you deserved it (937)
On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)
Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13291) - you deserved it (805)
On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7088) - you deserved it (1375)
On 11/17/2011 at 2:35pm - misc - by TheFlickChick - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31931) - you deserved it (5128)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (4782)
On 10/26/2011 at 2:35pm - health - by lanikai610 - United States
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
