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About duhman : haha, all my fml's are jkays, so don't hate tardholees ! :3
Um, yes. I love Sandy Aguirre.
And um, I'm super tall. DUH.
Amandahhli.blogspot.com
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36796) - you deserved it (16109)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47659) - you deserved it (23725)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (46458)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69467) - you deserved it (32923)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12061) - you deserved it (39900)
On 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57846) - you deserved it (4479)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13810) - you deserved it (66753)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33646) - you deserved it (19132)
On 05/19/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by Deconstructed (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13137) - you deserved it (49592)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44502) - you deserved it (517667)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
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