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duhasiangirl's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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duhasiangirl's favorite FMLs
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
by Bridget Jones? / 06/10/2013 at 9:09am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Miscellaneous
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
by SHIT-BREATH / 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
by gooddeedgonebad / 05/26/2013 at 5:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML
by a hex upon your anus, sir / 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
by AuntPeePee / 05/20/2013 at 7:57am / United States / Kids
by soreloser / 05/20/2013 at 2:32am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by ForeverAlone / 05/20/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Love
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
by pregnant loser apparently / 05/20/2013 at 12:31am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
by black hoodie / 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
by mackmackey / 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
by paging dr. kevorkian / 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm / Netherlands / Love
by need € for new iron / 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
by asdffhhjk / 05/15/2013 at 4:08am / Philippines (Manila) / Miscellaneous
by Bridget / 05/11/2013 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…