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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dubbleChic

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dubbleChic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 December 1996 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 516
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

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dubbleChic's favorite FMLs

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

#8884162 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (15612) - you deserved it (6903)

On 03/07/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Bruised (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

#8882513 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (5831) - you deserved it (14056)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (5412) - you deserved it (41322)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I tend to sleep walk, sleep dial, and sleep talk. How did I find out? The police showed up armed and ready at my door because I called 911 and told them about the dream I'd been having, in which my fiance murdered four people. FML

#8297685 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (2139)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:05pm - misc - by sleepdialer (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me masturbating. FML

#7020543 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (15714) - you deserved it (6077)

On 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Rawr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

#7014156 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (17068) - you deserved it (1475)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by runescapeftw (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

#6890097 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (10238) - you deserved it (3031)

On 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm - intimacy - by shallowvomit1013 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (5929) - you deserved it (26634)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU". It really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (17276) - you deserved it (7686)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (18645) - you deserved it (4877)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (14444) - you deserved it (2118)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML

#6501685 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (29612) - you deserved it (3237)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm - kids - by Shannon (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

#6494207 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (7986) - you deserved it (20889)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by TooTallNiCo (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262 (431)

I agree, your life sucks (4362) - you deserved it (55696)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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